Naptime.

I took a really good nap today. I had to wake up early to go to breakfast this morning and then head over to storage to get the rest of my furniture which I really needed! but I had to wake up early for that. And carry a bunch of furniture in the house. Then, I had to move it all around and attempt to organize it all. I have so much to do and finally have somewhere to organize my stuff at. But there's just too much!!! That was very overwhelming. It's a maze to try and get through my apt. It's just weird. So I was overwhelmed by all the stuff I had to do and I didn't even want to start it. Plus, I had a headache. I've had a lot of headaches lately which really sucks by the way. My pills are supposed to be working on that but they aren't anymore and I'm angry. It sucks having a headache everyday. But anyway.. today I layed down to take a nap after I called my gma. I used to be able to sleep things off. That's how I would deal with things because I slept anyway. Then I didn't have to deal with anything. Now whenever I get depressed or something.. I want to sleep! But I can't do that anymore! Ugh. I actually have to deal with life which is sucky sometimes. So I got tired because I was overwhelmed and getting mad about it. That's just what happens.. Usually I can't sleep though but I still lay there wishing I could sleep. But this time was different. I did get to sleep! :) I fell asleep at about 4:30. Then I woke up at 6. But I was still half asleep so I fell asleep again. Finally I woke up at 7. So it was a 2 1/2 hour nap!! My dad was also trying to take a nap so I called him to see how it went for him and he said he got a 15 minute nap. haha. I'm a professional napper. :)
I usually don't take naps though unless I have nothing to do all day. If I have to be somewhere within like 2 hours, I don't take a nap. After sleeping as long as I did and not being sure you would wake up, you're still cautious! And an alarm never used to be able to wake me up. So I don't even attempt to nap a lot if I have to do something that day. I wish I could just sleep for half an hour sometimes but that never works because I don't trust myself. Sometimes I do just need to lay there for a couple minutes though. I don't fall asleep but I need to rest my brain. So napping is an issue for me. When I used to watch Carter when he was a baby, I would wake up with him because Aamber would go to work at 5am. So I was always worried that I wouldn't wake up. But I mean.. I couldn't stay up all night. But luckily everytime he made a noise, I would wake up. It was annoying because even he just breathed loudly I'd wake up. But it was better than not waking up. But after all this time, I'm still cautious about it. So today I had NOTHING to do! So I went for it and got well rested. :)
But people always ask me if taking a nap during the day or even that late would make me stay up late. The answer is no. I can always use more sleep. It's midnight now. That's around the time I go to bed anyway. And I'm ready for bed again..
I love sleep. But on the other hand, I don't want to start sleeping again. I feel like I'm sleeping more than usual but maybe like just 2 hours more or something. That could be that I had a sinus infection and had been on cold pills and anti biotics for ever.. I'm taking my last ones tomorrow morning. I had to take 2 pills 3 times a day for the anti biotics. Did I mention I hate pills? Anyway.. back to napping.. I hope that I don't start sleeping again. I've just been feeling weird lately. Summer is usually a better time for me and my depression isn't that bad. But with the last couple sunny days we've had.. it hasn't helped at all. I still have no motivation and don't want to do anything. So depression combined with sickness.. that doesn't sound so great for me. I hate sleeping! And I love sleeping!
Anyway... I'm gonna go to bed. Hopefully I wake up before next week! haha. I'll probably sleep about 10- 12 hours. I've read on the KLS facebook that people think an episode of Kleine Levin Syndrome is 12 hours. That's sleeping like a normal person! Teenagers need extra sleep. I don't think I'm in an episode now because I sleep 12 hours. I get up and do what I have to do. Well not really.. but i get up. When I was in an "episode" I slept atleast 20 hours. and it seemed like it lasted forever. These people don't know how it really is if they think 12 hours a night is bad.. ugh. Ok I'm getting off topic again!

Good Night. :)

Mahjong? Yes Please!

So at my new apt, I didn't have internet for a while and I don't want to get cable. So I started playing the games on my computer. I played a LOT of Skip-Bo. Some monopoly, life and solitaire. But then I discovered Mahjong!! I remember playing it a while ago but I figured I would try it again. I LOVE IT! I play all day long. In the last 3 days, I've played 128 games. :) I have no life. It's a good way to waste it. I love the cat setup. I'm really good at it! I have a 76% winning average! That's good for me. I'm not good at a lot of stuff. -I also discovered recently that I'm good at frisbee.. That's very unsual. But pretty great! Who knew?- Anyway, I like to play it because it keeps my brain working. And I need that now a days because I hate to read. Unless it's a really good book! So I just love it. I could play it all day everyday. Well I pretty much have been... but now I have internet. So I waste my life away on facebook. I need a job. And a life...

Adventures up the mountain.

So, this one is about my “adventure” staying at my dad’s. First of all, I didn’t even want to stay there. But I had to because of the fire. But the reason I didn’t want to stay there because there are all kinds of bugs up there. I am DEATHLY afraid of spiders. I’m serious. Being Bipolar makes everything intensified so my fears are reallyyyyyy bad! But there are bugs all over because he lives up the mountain in the woods. It worried me enough that I had to sleep with a sweatshirt on every night so that bugs wouldn’t crawl in my ears. That happens you know.. I saw it on 2 shows so now I always have my hood on! But there was that and that it takes like an extra 15 minutes to get up or down the hill. So you think you’re in Bellingham but you really aren’t.. And my dad’s “landlord” is a big issue! Let me start this story.. He lives in like a poll building kind of thing that he turned into a house. It’s down a little hill from her house. Her name is Patti. It’s a different Patti from the nice helpful one. He was moving up there for the winter to save up money because she wasn’t gonna charge him rent. So he said by the summer he might start looking for a place. So he put all the plumbing in there. She said that she hired someone to do that but they had put the pipes in the ground but they didn’t lead to anywhere. So my dad had to dig up all that cement and re-do it. Then he bought everything to put in there. He put in a shower, a toilet, kitchen counters and cupboards. And he even put in a furnace because the only heat that she had there was a wood stove. It’s hard to keep a wood stove going when you’re at work all day.. So he would come home to a cold house and have to start a fire and wait like 2 hours for it to actually start warming stuff up. Also, he put a fridge and a stove in there. But he put a lot of money and work into this and then… She decided to start charging him rent. Now $400 isn’t that much for rent but still.. He put everything in there plus all the work he did. She freakin screwed him over. I had been thinking of staying up there a couple times a month and she said no. She wasn’t really supposed to have anybody staying up there so she didn’t want me to stay up there because it would be another person she wasn’t supposed to have. But if you’re breaking the rule for 1 person, why not just do it for another person occasionally?? But then I had to move there because our place burnt down.

HATER!!!!!
She's hatin on me for no reason. And she yelled at me for something I didn't even do. She's messing with the wrong person! She'll find that out VERY soon!! I'm a lot like my mom. And let me tell ya, sometimes that's very helpful. I can take care of my stuff when I need to. And I can deal with people that need to be dealt with. You don't wanna mess with me Haterrrr. You wanna hate me? I'll give you a reason to! :)

**I'll elaborate later on this one and the next few entries.

New Apartment!

I am officially on my own. Monday (April 18th?) was my first night alone but my dad spent the weekend with me here. We’ve been moving stuff in for a while so it’s slowly coming together. The living room and the bedroom are tiny. But the walkway, bathroom, kitchen, and back porch are pretty big! So that doesn’t make any sense to why the 2 important rooms are the tiniest.. But I’m starting to get used to it. We still don’t have all the furniture in yet but hopefully we will do that this weekend. But you can’t put a satellite dish on the building so I won’t be able to get directv. That’s what my dad has so it would be only like $5 a month to have that here but no… they couldn’t do that. And if I were to get Comcast it would be $30 a month. I can’t afford that. But I don’t have internet either but my mom said that we can go to clear wire and get that set up. So that will be good, I’ll at least have something to entertain me for all the time that I have. I literally have nothing going on with my life. Yes, I babysit sometimes. But I need to find a real job. My dad said that he would pay my rent for me if I would pay the electric bill. Did you know that if you sign up for the first time they charge you $90?? That is crazy! I can barely afford the bill but now I have to pay $90 too? That’s stupid! But I need to get a real job because babysitting was pretty much paying for gas and a couple random things if I needed something at the store. But now I need to pay for gas and my electric bill and everything else. Life is so annoying sometimes. And as a 19 year old, I should have everything covered and have my life on some kind of track. But because I slept for 5 years, I still feel like I’m 16. Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself that I’m 19. But I’ve started the whole having my own life thing now… I don’t know how well it will go but I guess we’ll find out. Do you notice how everything I write starts out ok and then ends depressing. Ya that’s how it happens in real life too.

The building is on fire, I’m not even kidding.

So that was an interesting night. Let’s start at the beginning. Saturday February 12th.. I don’t even remember what happened that day. But my mom went out somewhere. (And, I know that she went out with that biatch. Must be karma. Haha) But around 11:00 I heard my neighbors screaming and yelling. My upstairs neighbors were always fighting, arguing and kicking people out. Her boyfriend went to jail once and must have moved somewhere else. They are also THE MOST annoying neighbors EVER! They lived above us… and I’m not expecting them to be silent. So they were yelling and screaming Get out!! Get out!! Which, I figured they were kicking somebody out. But I kept hearing people knocking on my door which scared the crap out of me because I thought they were gonna come to my apartment and kill me or something. I didn’t answer. But somebody kept knocking. Finally, some guy actually told me what was happening instead of just freaking knocking. So thanks to that guy for actually telling me why I needed to get out of the house. But he knocked on the door and said, “You need to get out, the building is on fire. I’m not even kidding!” So I left the tv and stuff on because I wasn’t gonna take time to do anything. I just grabbed my keys unlocked the door lock so that the firemen wouldn’t have to kick it in and ran out. And let me tell ya, I was in shorts and a short sleeve shirt. Not the brightest idea to stand around all night in the freezing cold in that. But I was freaking out, so I didn’t really care. And as I was standing there with everybody else, I started thinking about all the things that I wanted to go back in for. I didn’t care about my laptop, my clothes, or even the wii. What I wanted to go back in for was my Stebert scrapbook. Out of everything that I have, that is the one thing that I wanted to save. I can never replace those pictures or even take new ones. Finally after what seemed liked half an hour, the firemen showed up. You know how people always say that when things like that are happening, it seems like they take forever? Ya.. Now I know how they feel. It was probably only 10 minutes but somebody had called 911 before I even got outside. The fire had been happening for about 10 minutes before I even got outside. So the fire trucks took a while to get there. They should have a slogan like the pizza places. We’ll be there in 15 minutes or you’re dead. Haha! Ok.. That’s not very funny but they should be more speedy! But I had tried to call my mom about 8 times and of course she didn’t answer. She never really answers her phone.. But finally I texted her saying “911”. Then Dave saw the text so they called and were like.. What’s going on? So I said, the apartment building is on fire!! So they were on their way. Then I called my dad and told him because I figured he should know and maybe come stand with me while I was freaking waiting to know something. So I called him and said Our apartment building is on fire!! And he’s like… Oh. He was already in Ferndale because he went to some party or something so finally he showed up. But I called my brother and he didn’t answer but then I texted him to tell him what was going on and he called about 10 seconds later. But of course, right when I answered, I started crying. I was fine and holding it together before that. I just was shaking and trying to figure out what was happening. But that always happens when I talk to my brother. Whenever something sad or something is wrong and it’s on my mind, I can always just try to stop thinking about it or something. But right when I answered I started crying. He asked if the firemen had gotten there already and they had. But he just wanted me to tell him what was going on and was telling me to calm down because everything was going to be alright. I needed someone to talk to because my dad isn’t good at things like that and my mom was on her way but she was freakin out too because she didn’t know if any of our stuff got burnt or what was going on. But my brother helped me through it and finally I was back to being ok. I think that by that time the fire was out and just smoke was coming out. And after what seemed like an hour, my mom and Dave showed up. My mom was trying to figure out everything and was talking to one of the cops who were there but weren’t really doing anything except making people move back. They told her that once the firemen said it was safe, we could go in for a few seconds and grab some clothes but we had to hurry. So they escorted us in and I grabbed some clothes because I was going to stay at my dad’s that night. Oh ya.. My dad had showed up too. But I grabbed some clothes and threw them in a bag. I forgot a coat and I forgot my pills. But I did grab my scrapbook! My Stebert scrapbook is a mini one so I grabbed that. And great minds think alike.. Plus, me and my mom are like twins and don’t even have to talk to know what the other is thinking.. But she grabbed the big Stebert scrapbook! She knows that stuff like that can never be replaced so of course she grabbed that! J But we all made it out alive. Nobody died in the fire. But the apartment that started the fire was totally burnt. Luckily, the fire wall saved our apartment! It did it’s job and didn’t let the fire go through to burn our stuff. The next day we went back to grab some more stuff because I guess it was officially safe. There was some smoke damage but it didn’t get in everything.
After all of that, we found out that we had to move all of our stuff out in 3 days. Let me just add that there was no power or heat. So we had to work during the day with the sunlight and we had to work with flashlights at night because we had to get everything out in 3 days. So that’s what we did. We put on 3 coats and got our flashlights so we could work day and night because that’s what we had to do. Also, the owner of the building is a real freaking jerk. He’s not paying for our storage unit that we had to put everything in. How are we supposed to freaking find a house in 3 days??? We had no choice but to put our stuff in storage. So after losing our apartment, we had to move all of our stuff out soon, and we had no money. We didn’t get our deposit back or half our rent back for a couple weeks. Yes.. Only half of our rent. The red cross did pay for 3 nights in a hotel but what were we supposed to do after that? I did end up living at my dad’s for a while which is not what I wanted to do. And my mom ended up staying with one of her friends from work who was nice enough to let here stay. THANK YOU PATTI!!! You are so kind and we are so happy to have you as a friend! J
Now my mom is living in a Fifth Wheel with her boyfriend. And after 2 months of living with my dad, I’m in my own place. I’m so happy to be out of there, but I’ll update you on that in another blog. So that’s the end of this chapter but only the beginning of a new chapter in life. (<

A?......B? or even...C?

Haha. Nobody will understand the title but I know what it's about so I think it's pretty hilarious!! :)
But it's been a while.. I've started writing in a journal in the last couple weeks. This last week hasn't been so good with that though.. But my gpa keeps a journal of what he does everyday. So I decided to do that. It worked for like 2 1/2 weeks of me writing in it EVERY day. Then I forgot about it, was ready to fall asleep or didn't have enough energy. But the problem with me is that once my mind gets going, it doesn't stop until it wants to. So instead of simply stating what I did that day, I end up writing 4 full pages (single spaced, front and back) of all the stuff that's going on in my mind. It's all over the place. Not a lot of people could handle being me.. I can't even handle it sometimes.. But I have no choice. I'm getting off topic again. That happens a lot. So I've been writing in my journal and I only have like 8 pages left in it I think.. and I haven't really written anything since.. wednesday? I usually write about 3 pages everyday. That is a lot of work. I'm not used to writing that much so my hand hurts and I don't want to do it on here because then I have to get my computer and stuff out.. Although, I do type faster than I write. Sometimes I need that when my brain doesn't slow down for me. But anyway.. I've been doing that but slacking a little for the last couple days. I've gotta go back and finish it soon. I remember what I did those days so it's be really easy to go write that down real quick. But because my brain is annoying.. I have to add every single detail so that's how it ends up being 4 pages. And while I'm writing something, I get another idea to write about.. so I have all kinds of notes to remind me to write about stuff that's happend.

But here are some big things that happend: (not sure if I wrote about some of them already but I'll go back and check. Just ignore it if you've already heard it.)

our apt burnt down.
i lived with my dad.
i have my own apt.
looking for a job.
brother got a new job.
spending more time with my gma.
mom got engaged.
friends?
new pills...


I'll write about all of these soon. I have a couple things that I wrote a while ago so I'll put those up here. I'm just not feeling it right now. No energy AGAIN. I hate being me sometimes. But I'll get back to blogging soon..
Can I just add....

BRENT IS HOME!! :)

I don't even care if he reads this. But I did find out that he knows who I am. So I'm pretty psyched about that!! But if you have known me for a while, you should know that I love Brent. It's been about.. 10 years? Wow that's a long time..
But he is awesome! He is such a nice guy and super adorable. <3 Just thinking about him makes me smile!! :)
-Me and Chelsey used to love going to our brothers' games because they played some of the same sports! I loved Brent and she loved Bryce. That's Brent's twin brother even though they don't look alike. But we had some good times!! Lots of fun and very weird memories.. ha ha.

<3