Fear.

So I have recently discovered that I have a fear of life. Not being alive. But having a life. Since I have been sleeping for so long, I got out of touch with people. I only talk with them over facebook really. And I am afraid of having a life. In my mind, I have told myself that everybody hates me. And I really don't know why. But that's just the way that I think. So I am afraid of leaving my house. I am afraid to leave my little bubble that I have in my apartment because I think that everybody hates me and everybody is judging me. It's weird, I know. But that's just the way I think.. for some reason.
And that is why I really appreciate people saying nice things. You have no idea how much it means to me for people to actually like me. I just need to get out of my house and go make more friends. It's just really really hard for me. I can't be vulnerable. It's like that saying, reject them before they reject you. Well I just act like I hate everybody before they can hate me. I mean, let me be honest, I do really hate some people. But most people, I just don't interact with so they can't get to know me. Because if I spend my time getting to know them, they will just leave. So it's a big thing for me to get out and do things.
I just wish that I could go out and do simple things like go to the Haggen without contemplating it for an hour in my head.

GRADUATION!

So I made it through graduation and was SO happy that I went. My mom had to work so she couldn't go with me. And that made me kind of not wanna go. But I decided I better go or I will be mad at myself. So I went with my dad. The reason I wanted to go with my mom is because she knows all the people. And she gets how hard it is for me to go there and do that. But it turned out fine. And I was so happy I got to see people that I haven't seen in a LONG time. So it was great.
And here are the pictures I took with people.. :)

Me and Adam: I've known him since about.. 6th grade. and he's a really great guy!


Me and Kelli: Me and Kelli became friends a couple years ago. She was also one of Chelsey's best friends.


Me and Griffith: I've known Griffith since like.. I don't even know how long. Since North Bellingham. And he is always so kind.


Me and Christina: Long Story with Christina. I've known her since Kindergarten atleast. She is Chelsey's step sister. And we have been friends for a longgg time. She is great. She is always so kind and such a great and friendly person. Even with me not going to school and not seeing her a lot, she still talks to me. Thats a big deal! :)



Me with Kelli and Christina:


Me with Christina and Katelyn: Katelyn is Christina's little sister. I've known her since before she was born. She's so grown up now!


Me and Kelly!: Kelly is amazing. She is so strong and so awesome. She's almost like a second mom. She was Chelsey's mom. And after all that happend, she still invites me to stuff and keeps in touch. That really means a lot. We used to see their family EVERYDAY. It's like we were all siblings. But I love Kelly! She is so strong, kind and wonderful! :)


Me with Stephanie and baby Isabella: Stephanie is Kelli's mom. She is so kind! And Kelli is Isabella's mom. Isabella is 3 weeks old and super cute!


Me and Hannah: Hannah is so nice! I don't remember when we became friends but she is so down to earth and so awesome!


Me and Kayla!: She is beautiful, kind, and so strong. She is an inspiration! I'm so glad that I got to see her there!


Some other photos:













I wanted to put this picture up here because this is Wesley Craig. He was in my class in 2nd grade. But then he got hit by a tree. They said that he would never walk again or talk again. But with help, he walked up and accepted his diploma. :)

Graduation Pt 1.

This saturday is graduation. So officially it's tomorrow since it's 1am. And that is just crazy! It's so weird to see MY class graduating. But I am so proud that they have made it this far!
But I made this cake for them. I think I did pretty good for my first time with the cake decorating kit. I usually just do the gel and colored frosting and colored cake. The cake is blue and the frosting is yellow (Ferndale colors incase you don't know) and it turned out beautiful! :) But I did the fancy thing along the edges with the kit. It's a start! :)




YOU MADE IT! CONGRATULATIONS CLASS OF 2010!!!

BIPOLAR!!

I recently emailed someone who was interested in interviewing people who were bipolar. She just had like 5 or so questions about how one deals with having bipolar disorder. So I figured, why not? And she posted it on her blog!!. I feel like a celebrity! haha. But if you would like to read it.. this is the link-
http://bipolarjungle.blogspot.com/2010/06/bipolar-stories-part-1.html

:)

Free Stuff.

So as you know.. I love me some free stuff! :) And if you play this game on the Bic Soleil website you can win free things. You can play once a day everyday.I haven't won anything yet, but I have bad luck. So if you want to play- check it out! :)

Soleil 100 Days: "There are thousands of fun, sharable prizes in the BIC® Soleil® 100 Days of Sunshine promotion. Join now! www.FeelTheSoleil.com"

Also, check out ThriftyNorthWestMom.com << That website is great for deals and free stuff! On June 1st, I went to a Seattle Storm game with FREE TICKETS(which were actually pretty good seats too) and we stopped at Arby's to get a FREE roast beef sandwich on the way down. I found out about both of those and MANY MANY more from Thrifty NW MOM! She is also on facebook!! :)


Thanks for reading!! :)


<3 Shantel

Summer. :)

The sun is out which means it's almost summer!!!!!! I love summer. So many things to do, it's warm, and you can just go out and live life. Summer is always more exciting! But I got a bad sun burn on Saturday so that was bad. It's ok though.. And even though I'm not in school,I still love summer time. I can't even explain the feeling, you just know it's that time of year and it makes you so happy! :)

Also, today is the last day of school for Seniors. I can't believe it! Totally crazy! But Congrats Seniors!! You did it!!

And Graduation is on Saturday.. We will see how that goes!! :)

A day at the park..

Yesterday, we went to Hovander Park with Alice. She is a great dane. I took Popeye there to meet her but he wasn't interesting. He was too tiny for her to notice. So they didn't really play. But there was a great dane puppy there. And she was superrrr adorable. Her name was Lucy. Anyway, they were playing and they were so cute. So I took a picture. Lucy is the little puppy and she is still tiny. Alice is huge compared to her but Lucy will catch up eventually. :)